Warmachine / Hordes Unhinged: A Thread of Humor

[kaneblaise]

I don't think I've ever seen something like this before, so I thought I would bring a bit of jolly to the forums. I basically want people to think of new abilities (and possibly certain characters who would posses them) that would be hilarious. For example:

Kara Sloan 2: Unlimited Range. Kara Sloan may target any model when making ranged attacks, even models on different tables in different games.

Vayl 3: Arcane Theft. Take one of your opponent's warcaster or warlock's spell card. Vayl gains the spells stolen and the feat. She may use each feat she has once per game. Keep the spell card for future games.

Just a few I came up with quickly.

[AJ the Ronin]

Haley3 feat: you win.

[Oreet]

Caine3's Feat: Magic Bullet Caine fire's a single, auto-hitting, POW 500 bullet at the opponent's caster. While under the affects of Caine's feat, he can fire the bullet at his target ignoring all intervening models/effects/terrain. Once the attack is resolved, Caine teleports himself anywhere he wants to go, as long as they serve alcohol.

[Crazy Uncle Doug]

Butcher 3: Set a stopwatch for 5 minutes. Butcher now proceeds to kill everything on the table, covering any distance. If the Butcher runs out of targets before the clock runs out, proceed to the next closest table and continue. Player must scream angrily while rolling dice.

[Yertle4]

Haley3 feat: you win.

Counterfeat:

[luxionmk2]

Vlad4. Model Count: 4. Vlad, Mount, Left Shoulder Pad/Pauldron, Right Shoulder Pad/Pauldron.

[Geoph86]

Reclaimer 3: open the flood gates of urcaen: put into play any number of living friendly faction models that you have lost in previous games ignoring FA.

[PG_Dino-Czar]

Super Stryker: Over-over power. Roll as many dice as you want and add the total to your STR. Make one attack. After that attack resolves melt Stryker's model with a torch.

[PG_malfred]

SeveriusInfinity: Menoth Says No

[Arcturus-]

Reznik 2: Every enemy boxed living model inside Reznik's control area becomes a Wrack.

[MidnightFox0083]

Magnus3: Feat: Hail to the King, Baby: You automatically win against Cygnar players. In addition, they must bow and swear allegiance to Magnus.

[BloatThrall]

Vlad4. Model Count: 4. Vlad, Mount, Left Shoulder Pad/Pauldron, Right Shoulder Pad/Pauldron.

The pauldrons each have 20 damage boxes and their own focus pool and magic fields.

[djowatts]

Siege 2. Feat: hen night! Force all enemy warrior models in control area to take off armour. All friendly warrior models gain coin toss. Range 12 power 12 aoe 3. Opposing player must bam chicka wahh wahh!

[correlation2]

Gaspy 4 feat: OHGODWHY

You banish the opponent's army to the nearest available 40k game.

[Decade]

Deneghra3 - Feat: I'll give you something to cry about - If your opponent has ever complained about Cryx in any way, shape or form, you win the game, take ownership of all of their models, books and Privateer Press related materials, and are allowed to slap them once across the face without any form of reprisal allowed.

Terminus2 - Feat: Dun dun, dun dun - Play the theme music from Jaws. When the tempo reaches its pitch, place Terminus in B2B with your opponent's warcaster or warlock and automatically give Terminus 10 extra focus, arcane assassin and grievous wounds.

[Drzombieface]

Gaspy 3 "MWHAHAHAHA": Whenever someone cries about him being broken, just laugh maniacally. Gaspy 3 gains + 10 to his Focus stat for every straight minute you cackle like an evil mastermind jerk.

Hayley3 Feat "Out- dated Semi- Relevant Movie Reference": You become Time Cop.

Madrak 3 "Flubber": He gets Ricochet back, but this time, When he hits an enemy model with Thrown Rathrok, it bounces to the nearest enemy model within 4". Rathrok gains "Bouncy but Deadly". It never stops Ricocheting. Never.

Damiano 2 Feat "Payday for Men": Every friendly Steelhead immediately begins swimming in shiny coins. The shiny piles of coins are so massive that they grant the Steelheads +10 ARM, but they can't move or attack.

[Emerett]

Nemo 4 Feat: Every Warjack in the building is now under your control until the end of the game.

[Oreet]

Deneghra3 - Feat: I'll give you something to cry about - If your opponent has ever complained about Cryx in any way, shape or form, you win the game, take ownership of all of their models, books and Privateer Press related materials, and are allowed to slap them once across the face without any form of reprisal allowed.

*flex*

Bring on your silly feat. I've never complained about Cryx.

[Dark Lord of Puppies]

eiyress3: now you see me, now you're dead: enemy warcaster/warlocks that can draw LOS to eiyress lose all focus/fury, are knocked down (read as cowering in fear), and become stationary as long as LOS is maintained.

[usbprime]

Xerxis2: Feat Supreme Annihalation: All models in his control range gain +4 str and +4 speed. You also gain 2 extra dice on damage, and a sledgehammer. Every model that is killed during the feat is crushed with the sledgehammer to ephasize the Supreme annihalation the model has truely suffered.

Terminus 2:Theme list: The Terminus Bus: Forces included. Terminus and a bus. 'Nuff Said.

Skarre3: At the start of the game, skarre weaves the seas of fate, and removes any non-warlock/warcaster model from the game that she just plain doesn't like.

[AJ the Ronin]

eiyress3: now you see me, now you're dead: enemy warcaster/warlocks that can draw LOS to eiyress lose all focus/fury, are knocked down (read as cowering in fear), and become stationary as long as LOS is maintained.

She also only works for Retribution, Zul and Infernals.

[kaneblaise]

Damiano 2 Feat "Payday for Men": Every friendly Steelhead immediately begins swimming in shiny coins. The shiny piles of coins are so massive that they grant the Steelheads +10 ARM, but they can't move or attack.

Nice, how about

"Money Talks: You make take any currency you posses and place it on the table at any time. The currency becomes an obstacle if stacked less than 1" thick, and an obstruction if greater than 1". You may move your currency at any time."

[quindraco]

Epic Zerkova: Feat: Enemy player must touch Zerkova's base or immediately lose. For the rest of the game, if the enemy player at any time ceases to touch Zerkova's base, they immediately lose. If at any time the enemy player touches Zerkova's model, they immediately lose.

[PG_machine007]

Grissel3: Feat: The Angry Housewife: The controlling player presses a button on Grissel's model that relays a message from your opponents significant other. The voice is so powerful, it results in the enemy player forcibily packing their gear, and going home to do whatever what was said. Lasts 1 Day.

Shae2: All models included with Shae begin in your opponents deployment zone. You gain +6 to your starting roll, in addition to any other additional rolls you would normally get.

Calandra2: The controller can see the future and dicates who will go first. The controller then can see who will win the game from this dicision, just like 40k.

Rahn2: 3d6 random models are immediately telekenised randomly throughout the board on your side and may activate normally. Even models from other games can be telekennised in. A model is only eligible to be telekinisesed in if it is considered a miniature, is not a replication of chuck norris, and must be within the same building to when the feat is used.

[NEoJoe]

Karchev 2: Is a colossal.

Darius 2: Feat - Screw Weaponmaster: Darius 2's battlegroup cannot be attacked by warrior models. Any enemy Molik Karn becomes blind, stationary, knocked down, and void locked. Screw Weaponmaster lasts for one round.

Spells - Killing Ground. Coup de Main. Unearthly Rage.

WJ Pnts: +30

Haley 2: Feat - Rewind: Your opponent undoes his/her last turn. If, after they completely undo all the actions and movements their models performed, there is an error, they are disqualified.

Anistatsia 2: Counter-espionage. (credit to Polar Bear)

[ZeeWulf]

Kraye 2: Steel Horse: Kraye is mounted on a Speed 10 Centurion with Pathfinder. All of Kraye's warjacks gain +4 Armor, Cavalry Rules, Pathfinder, +5 Speed. Heavy Warjacks may also make Light Cavalry Moves.
Wanted, Dead or Alive If any model must choose a mark or target at the beginning of the game, Kraye is immediately selected.
Awesome Mullet: All attacks against Kraye suffer -4 to hit.

[EvilFuzzyDoom]

eBorka: FEAT - Keg Party - Controlling player engages in a drinking contest with all opposing players. Borka gains Fury points equal to the number of drinks the Controlling player can drink. All models gain "Stumbling Drunk" for the remainder of the game.

[drachenfels]

eMortembra The Mechanical Ghost
Feat: Extreme interface / Ghost in the Machine
Choose a Warjack or Colossus on the table (yes even your enemies) that has a Cortex (doesn't mater if damaged) then remove Mortembra from the table. Gain control of the chosen model. that model becomes your warcaster. It keeps all of it's weapons and special abilities and gains all of Mortembra's abilities in addition to them and gains Mortembra's Focus stat, leadership, spell list and all Warcaster rules. If the chosen warjack/colossus becomes destroyed choose another warjack or colossus.

[The Happy Anarchist]

eMadrak - World Ended - Gain control of the entire world's nuclear arsenal. You must press the shiny red button.

[Pinegulf]

Vyros 2: Does absolutely nothing. Actually improvement over Vyros 1, since you don't waste time wondering how to utilize it.

[BloatThrall]

For all of you out there that think Telekinesis is OP.

Scaverous2 Feat: Telekinetic wave

All enemy models are pushed off the gaming board. Scaverous gains 1 focus for every model that breaks as a result of falling. Models that break are destroyed, and intact models suffer fall damage.

[blindwitness]

Madhammer - Uh Oh - Center an AOE 5 on all non warcaster friendly models and remove them from play. Models hit suffer a POW 20 damage roll.

[Critical]

Karchev2 battlegroup spell: Just hit something with it. Cost 3, RNG CTRL. All models in the battlegroup gain "Hit them!". Make an immediate power attack Lock on one enemy model in base to base with the friendly battlegroup model for each open fist melee weapon on the model, the target model is automatically locked. For one round locked models automatically fail to break the lock if an attempt is made. If a battlegroup model moves place the locked model in base contact with the battlegroup model. Whenever the battlegroup model makes a melee attack for the rest of the round use the STR of the locked model as the POW of the attack. At the end of the round remove from play the locked model unless the battlegroup model has been destroyed if it has made at least one melee attack that hit against an enemy model. Battlegroup models cannot make any other power attacks during their activation.

Feat: Come Here! Push all models in the enemy army directly towards friendly faction model in any order you wish. They are all knocked down after this push. Move the model any distance you like.

[Pseudog]

Ahh. This is awesome. At one point me and my friend were designing epic Deathjack pretty much "unhinged". It's name was Omnipotentus (but it was still epic Deathjack model in description) The brief summary of the model:

(Stats like Deathjack)

FA: C

Claim Souls: This model gains a soul token whenever a living model is destroyed within 8ft. This model can boost attack and damage rolls and buy additional attacks with soul tokens. This model can have a maximum of 5 soul tokens.

Omnipresent: This model can spend soul tokens on other Omnipotentus models within 8ft.

Dimensional Spamming: You can spend army construction points to include Omnipotentus in another game within 8ft that is in deployment phase. You deploy the Omnipotentus, but must choose whose battlegroup it belongs to. If there is no model that can control the Omnipotentus in the chosen army, it is an autonomous warjack.

[Sheer_Falacy]

Epicest Asphyxious Feat:

Replace Asphyxious with any other Cryx warcaster. If that warcaster is destroyed, Asphyxious wins the game.

[nIKon]

Ravyn2: Snipe, Feat, Go home - the game is over, you lost.

[Evilone01]

Hmmmm.

Feora3- Feat:Firebug. Place nearest flammable liquid/beverage anywhere within reach of controlling player. May douse any number of enemy models in Feora's LOS. During your opponents next maintenance phase, before resolving continuous effects, your opponent must choose a model to set alight. Remove this model from play. If the flames spread to other doused models, remove them from play also. While Firebug is in effect, terrain and intervening models do not block LOS. Firebug lasts for as many rounds as it takes for the fire department to arrive.

High Reclaimer3- Feat: Oooooooh, Shiny! Return to play any number of friendly faction models from your collection. Models may be placed anywhere on the table. If any part of the table is still visible, you may place any number of models from any number of other gamers collections into play, including your opponents. These models (and any apparatuses for their transport) are added to your collection, and are now counted as friendly faction models. All models placed by this feat may now activate.

[PG_frazerpenman]

Epic Borka Kegslayer: social drinker- You must consume beer whilst playing Borka. Borka gains +1 fury for evry unit of alcohol consumed. If the borka player is sick all non trollbloods touched are removed from play. If the Borka player falls over they lose the game.

Epic Butcher the Retired Maniac: eButcher gains: this is my lawn: the Butcher palyer chooses an 8 by 4 inch zone on the table as the Butchers lawn, the Butcher gains boosted attack and damage rolls against models within his lawn in addition enemy models lose fearless and all friendly models gain terror while within the lawn.

[PG_Dino-Czar]

eKara Sloan: LoL n00b. During Kara's activation pick one enemy model and remove it from play, if you can successfully argue that Kara has LoS to it. If you are playing against Cryx you may remove a bone jack in addition to the model chosen. If the Cryx player cries refer them to the balling done by their collective community in the weeks leading up to Kara's release. You may then imagine Kara dancing a joyful Can-Can as she triggers Refuge and moves to safety.

[Lord of ???]

eKarchev: Karchev becomes a Skull of Hate on Deathjack. Deathjack is now loyal to the Motherland and gains all of Karchevs spells and his feat.